Proper Professor
by Cabin3Demigod
Summary: When Tonks comes to Grimmauld Place in hope to drop off some work at headquarters, she's sucked into some weird game between the Marauders  Sirius and Remus , the trio, and the twins. Of course, she's on team Sirius...and Remus


"DORA! DORA! DORA!"

"How many times have I told you not to call me –" Tonks stopped dead as she walked into the Library at Grimmauld Place, shocked by the sight that met her.

"What the...?" She muttered as she looked at what appeared to be stacks of books on the floors. It took her a couple of seconds to realize they were stacked in a certain way.

"Enemy or friend?" Tonks jumped a mile as she felt a wand at her back. But she easily recognized the voice.

"Sirius...what...?" All she'd come to headquarters to do was drop off a report, nothing more, now suddenly.

"Friend," Tonks looked up to see Remus standing before her. They both pulled her in to the 'fortress of books'.Her eyes widened even more as she saw all the pranking material they had within.

"The twins – including feline – have set base in the drawing room while the trio is in the bedroom on the second floor. The neutrals rest within the kitchen. Shifter, you stand guard while me and Moony make a plan," Sirius said nodding to Tonks. Her eyes widened and she wondered just exactly what she had gotten herself into.

"What? Remus?"

"Shh, Tonks!" Sirius scolded.

She shrank back into the fortress and Remus smiled at her.

Sirius grabbed Remus by the wrist and pulled him down.

"How are we going to make a plan? How is this going to go?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Just go with the flow. Your family has never planned. That is why you were born, Padfoot."

"I know. We need a plan, however. The event of my being brought into this world was a tradgedy in itself. For me, I mean."

"I know, Padfoot, I know," Remus said mockingly. "Would you like a hug?"

"No! I'd like a bloody plan, that's it!"

Tonks tapped Sirius lightly on the shoulder and said,"Why don't you take the twins and Hermione, I'll take Harry, and Remus will take...Ron?"

"Doubting your boyfriend's manpower, Tonks," Sirius chuckled.

"He is not my boyfriend."

"Says who?"

"My wand, her name is destroyer. Would you like'to meet her?"

Sirius grinned. "No. I'd like to meet the monster who made you-"

Tonks pulled out her wand and pointed it at his chest.

Moony took it out of her hands. "You two should stop acting like this! He's your cousin, Tonks, and no matter how much he acts like a git, you have to keep him alive. Sirius, Tonks's plan was genius don't you see? She gave you the weakling and the pranksters, she took the hero, and I get the sidekick. We all get opposites."

"Then you should've gotten the twins," Sirius muttered.

"But you're the top level prankster. She wanted you to have some fun too."

"Exactly," Tonks verified.

Sirius nodded. "Let's get to work."

-Three hours later-

"Got your walky talky Tonksy," Sirius asked.

Tonks eyed the mysterious Muggle object. "Yeah."

Remus gulped, "Got mine too."

"Good, then, let's go." Before Sirius had even stepped ahead of them, Remus tugged him on his collar.

"What Moony? Need a doggy treat?"

"No," Remus snarled, "I just wanted to know how you knew the kids were still out there. They could be gone. Half of the neutrals left hours ago."

"Trust me, a Marauder always knows."

"Discluding me from the group, are you," Remus mocked.

Sirius opened the library door. "Tug on me one more frikin' time and I will."

"I bloody hope that James kicks you where it hurts tonight, when you're sleeping." Remus was halfway out the door now. Tonks was behind them.

"He'll be in ghost form."

"Just like your tiny manly artifact," Remus whispered. Tonks had just come out and Sirius nodded. "Remember the plan."

He ran off toward the drawing room. Remus took Tonks's hand and they ran to the stairs.

When they reached the second floor, Remus crouched down. Tonks didn't follow his lead, though. He looked hilarious: almost forty and crouched low like a dog.

Remus stopped in front of a red door and stripped himself of his flashlight and walkie talkie. Tonks did the same.

He opened the door and immediatley potatoes began flying at them.

"Urgh!" Remus certainly was enjoying this. "Hold your fire!"

The potatoes went falling for two minutes, then ceased to resupply. Tonks looked up. It seemed that the trio had stacked two bunk beds on top of each other.

"Genius," she muttered.

"Thank you!," Hermione's head appeared over the bed rail. Ron's and Harry's did too.

"What're you doing here, Lupin," Ron asked.

"Yes, won't Sirius get Seriously Sirius mad if he found out that you two were begging us to stop?" Harry added.

"We're not working for Sirius anymore," Remus lied.

Tonks shook her head. "He's too serious about these things."

"Then why'd you come up here," Ron asked.

There was a loud thud.

The signal.

"What was that," Hermione said.

"Ron's Mum. She's in a bit of need with the spiders down there," Tonks grinned. "She wants you to accompany her in the drawing room. She knows Ron's scared and she thinks Harry's a real royal git or something."

"Is that why you came here?"

"No, Hermione," Tonks took in a breath. A second thud. "I think Mrs. Weasley really needs you down there."

Hermione stared blanky into space and climbed down. "I'm not very fond of spider either," Remus murmured. Hermione spun around once more before leaving the room.

Lure Hermione to the drawing room: Check.

Tonks waved at Harry and said, "Snape wants to talk to you."

"Again," Harry spat, climbing down.

"Nymphadora, refer to him as Professor Snape," Remus said. Bloody he was a good actor.

"And right in the middle of our game." Harry ran his hands on his arms and pointed at the door. "Lead the way, Tonks."

"Gladly."

Tonks opened the door and led Harry out. This was easy. Merlin!

Two checks in five minutes.

Tonks caught Remus climbing up and sitting next to Ron-who looked petrified as if he'd been seen by the bloody basilisk himself-before closing the door. "Ron, I'd like to discuss your O.W.L.S," he said.

Tonks led Harry down the stairs.

"Where is Snape," Harry questioned.

"The library, checking out some Potions books."

"Won't Sirius realize if his books are gone?"

"One: Sirius doesn't go to the library. Two: Checking out is looking at. I thought you knew slang?"

"You forgot, Tonks," Harry muttered, "I have no friends in the Muggle world."

Tonks opened the door to the library and ushered the Chosen boy inside. She waited for him to take in the fortress, the plans laid out all over the place. It took ten seconds.

Much to her advantage, ten seconds was all she needed to put a few protection charms on the door.

"Hey, Snape isn't in here!"

Tonks withdrew her wand from her black belt. "Professor Snape, Harry," she drawled, waiting for it all to sink in.

Harry darted past her and tried to shake open the door. "You locked it! Hermione! Ron!"

Tonks smiled. "They can't hear you, good Aurors know. They know when to use a silencing charm."

Harry pulled out his wand and said, "You were in it all along. Lupin...he's got Ron. And Hermione's in the drawing room..."

"...with the twins and Sirius," Tonks finished. "Yes, brilliant, I know."

"What're you gonna do to me?"

"Nothing, Harry. Just cooperate."

"Okay," Harry said, eyeing his wand, "Expecto-."

"Expelliarmus!" Tonks yelled. "I'm not a frikin dementor. Petrificus Totalus!."

Harry was on the ground in seconds.

Tonks stood over him and grinned.

"One down."

She heard a knock on the door. "Who's it?"

"Remus."

Tonks hummed a spell and the door unlocked. Remus barged in. "Ron is in the meeting room," he announced. "Silenced and tied up."

"That's great-."

There was a shrieking sound.

Tonks and Moony looked at each other. "Sirius," they said in union.

Tonks panicked. "Here, take Harry, I'll go find Sirius. Meet me in the drawing room." She threw him at Remus.

Remus silenced the boy and threw him over his shoulder. He raced down the corridor.

Tonks followed him out, only she went the other way. As she reached the drawing room, she breathed. It took a few moments for her to get the locking charm off.

When she entered, she saw Sirius laid out on the ground and Hermione edging towards the twins who were tied up. She took a step forward. Tonks was immediatley trapped in a net and hugged to the ceiling.

Hermione chuckled as she pointed her wand to Fred/George. "H-."

But she didn't get to finish, because a husky voice roared, "Petrificus Totalus," and she collapsed next to George's feet.

Tonks stared down. It was Remus. He smiled up at her and whispered something to get her down. She fell onto the ground and he held out his hand.

Tonks smiled and they both turned to the kids. "Old schoolars, 1, trio and twins, 0." Remus grabbed Sirius's unconcious fist and waved it in the air before giving Tonks a high five.

"You do realize you can't keep us in here forever," George smiled.

Remus snorted. "Don't tell me what I can do, you loser git."

Everyone stared at the proper Professor in surprise.


End file.
